you should not be tearing

heart secretly dipping in blood.

highest passing rate

out of curiosity i went to look at my private driving instructor passing rate at the traffic police website. he has the highest passing rate among all the instructors at bbdc. why am i not surprised?

which side are you on?

The fight between structured and practicability has always been a struggle for me.

I was having one of the better driving classes last Saturday. My instructor was telling me how screwed up it is to test students on parking into car lots without the aid of the poles. They were there for a reason to resemble the headlights of the car next to the lot. And now they are gone and replaced with curbs. How often can you have a car lot with curbs surrounding its perimeter?

School has structured the training syllabus but the element to simulate the real-world is often missing. Feedback and letters have been sent in to make it better but they are fallen on deaf ears. Do you call resistance stubborn or resolute?

last tuition

After I entered university, I wanted to be as much as possible, financially independent. So I took up private tuition.

I started tutoring this kid at the end of his secondary 2. He is definitely not an easy kid to tutor. First, his math fundamentals were weak. His concepts were wrong. So basically I had to start everything all over again from scratch. However, this was not the toughest part. He rarely completed my homework and would give 1001 excuses for not doing it. He was one restless kid who couldn’t concentrate for one full 1.5 hour.

Yesterday was my last lesson with him. And I finally truly understand the meaning of “rewarding” when you asked a passionate teacher “why teaching”? A simple and short SMS to thank you for my effort, time, sweat and tears for the past years tutoring him means a lot to me. The smile on his face when he knew his answers for the big O paper were correct was comforting. I admit the tutoring process is torturous on some days, but on certain working days, I was looking forward to it after a long and meaningless day at work.

So to all out there, stop your work for a second and tell someone how much you appreciate his/her work. It takes seconds to do it, but it means the whole world to them.

headache at work

Life is cruel because it refuses to give us balance. We don’t have exactly 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night. So, like all great humans in history, we strive to have balance within ourselves. Here comes all the talk about yin and yang to find inner peace. Seriously, is it too much to ask for a balance?

I had a girls’ night out recently. Fang and pee were saying they are having work overload syndrome that they could hardly breathe at work. That’s when they treasure any time they can find out of the office to chill and relax.

I feel ashamed of myself. I am not too sure if it is because of the nature of this month or the job. There is minimum production going on in the line to the extent I had a headache for staring at the laptop screen the whole day. There is 1 big thing I need to do at work but it is not within my control. I have to wait for person A to reply to me to discuss with person B to make a decision. This is the long and tedious cycle for response among different parties. Furthermore, how can I forget the time wasting consuming morning meetings I have? Here, here, you have an unmotivated worker blogging.

Where is the work-life balance I am looking for? There is no work in my life and my life has too little time to play. Some people may not find any fault with this because the company is basically paying me for doing nothing. But my close friends will know I cannot stand this. I feel like I am wasting my time away. 9 hours away in this small prison cell somewhere at depot road, living in misery. I could have done something more during these 9 hours than sitting by desk trying to figure out ways to kill time.

I need a balance, probably yoga is next.

wise words

a person of habits once told me this. don't give yourself a dead sentence before you are confirmed guilty.

so i replied, "Just give me 4 tubs and bnj ice cream with 2 peanut butter cup cups. Probably it will sweeten up my day a little."

:)

wanting it is not enough

i am dying to receive the call from edb.

i have been on this job for about 3 months and i am already thinking of changing job? you must be raising your eyebrows, questioning me. that is the response i got from a 16 years old boy when i told him i just went for an interview. oh wells, there are just some things in life that cannot be explained.

i am just excited to be selected for the final round. i cant exact say it is a dream come true for me especially when i still do not know the stings attached to this binding contract. but on the surface, everything looks good to me. who does not want 1 year of overseas training? if everything goes well ideally, assuming that my performance was fantastic, my skills are in demand after my training and i love what i am doing, i will have a job waiting for me after the 1 year. so it is job security for 2 years.

hold your horses first! i dont even know if i am one of the 18 selected yet. i was told i would be receiving the call this week. i am not going to leave my handphone anywhere 1 m away from me. i want to be able to see it. i want to hear it when it rings. i am crossing my fingers, praying that i will be called up soon.

once again, i promise i will be a good girl.

i want that little something

something is missing.
i want to find it back.

all you need is a hero

when dust sets, you cry for the ones you have lost.
you can never look back now.
the only path is to move forward.
but where to?
when all hopes are dying,
the future is bleak.
you wish for a miracle
and he brought the people to unite.

in some stages of our lives, we just need a hero to tell us we are the best. never lose sight of him because we need to keep this positive energy going.

and i just fell in love with history all over again.

it's a bliss

it is a bliss to be doing something you like and enjoy. i want to know how that feels.

how rude can you get?

there is always a reason for something. i dont like to travel on public transport during peak hours but it is inevitable now. it is not that i hate to squeeze with people. i hate seeing the ugly side of singaporeans more.

excuse me and thank you. these 2 simple and short phases are what our parents taught us when we need to get the attention of someone and show appreciation to others when they help you. they are polite phases. but when you said them together loudly on the packed train while trying to squeeze your way out, they dont sound as good as what they mean. you will ultimately get out what you want but you have unconsciously created an unpleasant trip for the riders. i am not sure if you will be annoyed by this but yes i do!

i am not trying to publicize the courtesy campaign that our government is always trying to push for. i just want to have a pleasant journey during peak hours. and i am sure everyone wants that too.

excited

i am feeling so excited now that i am gonna die. haha. this is a good chance for me to get out of the shithole. so i better prepare myself and score this.

it has been a while

it has been ages since i last blogged. i thought i would have forgotten the user name and password.

what have i been busy with?
1. 3 weeks into the new chapter of my life. work!
there is nothing much that i can say about it. for now, i am still undergoing training by an engineer.
good environment - checked
ok colleagues - checked
benefits - checked
progress - X

mainly because i am attached to just one engineer and i am the only new hire, there is no structured training for me. my training schedule depends heavily on whether he is free or not to train me. so there are days that i will just idle around the whole day and do nothing. i dont mind sitting at my desk to read materials although it is damn boring. but at least i know that i did something for the day. i want SOMETHING in my life.

so why am i still there? my manager has successfully painted a very bright prospective future for me for the next few months. and seriously that excites me a lot. for me to go to that phase, i just have to be patient and get through this slow sucky phase.

i shall be more proactive for the next few weeks. no more complaints from me, i hope.

2. felicity!
goi and i created this blogshop. currently we are having our 2nd launch now. we are still learning this online blogshop biz so we are still in the trial and error phase. learning bit by bit but i guess things will work out eventually. so friends, if you are reading this, pls free to feedback anything about felicity to me okay?

3. watch world cup
yes!!! the world cup is finally here. but sad to say, the matches arent exciting enough for me yet. let's just wait and see.

cheers to a better tomorrow.

felicity

i have always wanted to do something significant in my life. i do not want to tell my grandchildren the same old boring story. i was born, went for 16 years of education, found a decent job and worked till i retired. NO! that's not how i want my life to be. so on one random night, i was talking to goi and we realized we have common aspirations. seriously, we are both still young. they are still so many more things waiting for us to explore. so why wait? and that's how we started felicity.

felicity, a noun that describes the state of being happy, a source of happiness. we both immediately loved the meaning and so felicity it shall be. so what does felicity do? we are an online cosmetics spree blog. we are bringing in cosmetics that cannot be found in singapore into singapore for all the beauty junkies out there. for now, we are still in the starting off phase. seriously, when we first had a draft, it seemed pretty easy. but now it comes to doing it, it is a completely different story. we have to learn everything from SCRATCH by ourselves. and that's why i learnt how to post youtube videos on facebook fan group jus now. haha. if i use the facebook badge, the video will be posted to my own profile which totally pointless.

so i am sure there will be a lot more happenings going over at felicity. so please do join us on our facebook page for most recent updates and news. search felicity or you can link it from my facebook profile. and our first launch is on the 5 may wed at 9pm, join us at http://felicity10.wordpress.com. =) omg. this is becoming so commercialized. so in short, join my spree or you btr watch out if you are my friend. haha. cheers!

something special about this man

i saw this video a few years back. i happened to find it again when i was listening to this song on the radio ytd. he isnt the male lead in this french movie. and according to my fren, he only appeared in the movie in this scene and he did not have any dialogues. but there is sth special about him that draws me to watch this video over again and again. the music rocks and he looks deliciously hot. how can i resist?

countdown timer is working now

my last presentation as a chemical engineer was not as good as i expected even though i thought i was pretty much prepared for my section. in the end, the profs had once again drilled and squeezed us dripping dry. the worst part is they do make sense and i was unable to figure out why and where and how. these 3 most important questions couldnt be answered. it was my 2nd time i felt very disappointed with myself in the same building. i just left.

it is over and so there is no point thinking about it anymore. now, i just had to hope the minimum good karma i had accumulated over the years will work.

the deadlines were a mad rush but it was great fun working with the fellow costa ricans. i guess we might be the most happening group who think of celebration ideas for every submission date. the most amazing part is we all did not start off as friends. the group was formed by complete strangers. we might have heard of the name or knew this person exist, but we arent considered on the friends basis. so how? because i know someone from the other group and it just happened that we needed each other to form the 5 members group. glad we did that.

the countdown to my final days as an official student has started. 2 more weeks and it is really the final goodbye. it is not like the graduation ceremony we all had in primary/secondary/JC. this is THE END. i have been waiting for this day to come but when it is here, it feels different. hmmm..

you just need that person

sometimes in life, all you need is for someone to tell you that the future will come.

all shapes and sizes

people come in all shapes and sizes.

despite my 4 years in an approximately 250 chemical eng students body, i dont know know all of them. to set the bar lower, let's define know as you recognize this person in your cohort so you dont have to know this person on a personal level.

there was this day, a group of students decided to bake cookies and give them for free to those hardworking students just to make them simle.

there are some guys who are the prim and proper boyfriends. they belong to the group that mums will love them to bits at the first house visit.

on the down side, there are bound to be immature and childish (oops, do they mean the same?) people around you. their intelligence level made me feel disgusted. they describe themselves as reckless and childish but do those give them enough reasons to not act their age?

maybe meeting new people is a fun thing to do afterall.

up in the air

what will you put in your backpack?

i dont know why this movie receives so little publicity. maybe because spore is showing it very very way behind us, so the hype died down. anyway, i wanted to watch it when i saw the teaser.

it kinda strikes me now that it is important to maintain balance in life which i cant do it very well. when deadlines are near and exams are coming up, i will just locked myself in my room and study. it sounds gross but that is the sad part of my life, competing with over achievers. i dont even talk to my family much. the only time they will see me is when i go to toilet, bathe and have my meals. this little 4 walled room is like a prison cell for me.

when i realize the distance between us, i will try to get back into their lives again. and sometimes, i have to admit it is just too late. people start to drift away to look for another source of comfort when the current existing one fails. nobody stays at the same spot and waits for something to happen. people move on! well, i guess i have been a pretty fortunate girl because i do have friends who stay by and wait for me. and i know we will definitely go a long way and probably will meet up for tea when our hair turns grey. comforting thought ya.

connecting with people is a skill that i lack in. sometimes i wish i could really open up and give my friends and loved ones a hug and tell them how much i miss them and want them to stay in my life.

have you ever felt the moment when someone stares into your soul and the whole world stop moving?

those were the times

remember when you were in primary school in your graduating year, friends would start to pass around autograph books. no matter how much friends dont get along, you still want a piece of memory of that person. probably you would disinfect your book when you are home and realized none of your close friends choose to write in front of or behind his autograph.

i remember one of the must have sections is my favourites and its opposite. the list just runs like, favourite colour, teacher, friend, movie, food and blah blah blah. and now guess who i will write under my favourite friend. ASPEN HYSYS!!! i have been spending more time with it than with my bf. i have showed all emotions in front of him. happy when i see the green box with the word converged inside and all the material streams are navy blue. frustrated when the yellow box and error messages keep popping out. i was so engrossed in our little world today that my friend had to break my concentration and make me realize i am really into him.

i am sure our relationship will become stronger day by day with the exponential time i will be spending with him for the weeks to come. my love letter to him and i hope he will bring a super big smile on my face tmr morning.

argh

i am seriously suffering from insomnia now.
i need a whack to knock me out so that i can sleep.

it kills

life is a bitch.

you know your financial assets are running low but it just slowly but surely plays with your mind. you have to click on that link to steal another glance at that particular piece of art. it draws you, it steals your sanity and it robs your money.

at the end of the day, you do not feeling a slight pinch that you have lost something. you are feeling happy instead, smiling to yourself. an act of convincing yourself that you have done the right thing because it is simply irresistible and you can never find a twin out there.

shopping, especially online shopping at my own convenience, kills my money.